Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Women’s Day
DON’T FORGET THE POWER
DON’T FORGET THE LIFTING
Lol sup Mikyla
Best mosh face.
Tries to update her website, fucks the whole website up.
Found myself at a mindless self indulgence show tonight, 12 year old me is stoked. #msi (at The Fillmore)
Unconditonal Zine is a photo zine I put together from unconditional arms’ first tour. It is officially available online and all orders from this weekend will be sent out on Monday.
Citizen on Flickr.
Photo by Senny Mau
The Wonder Years on Flickr.
Photo by Senny Mau
Terror on Flickr.
I found a ghost town while driving though the midwest. I spent the day wading through dead grass and exploring the vacant homes. A rusty water tower lay on the outskirts of the town and the yards were littered with old cars.
New life took over the town. Birds had built nests in many of the homes and there was a dead lamb in one. As it grew dark it began to rain. I picked the house with the cleanest bed and slept inside as I listened to rain drip through holes in the ceiling and patter on the roof. I woke up early to the sounds of raccoons near me on the stairs.
This is actually really scary once you think about it. There are newspapers and lightbulbs and a painting on the desk in the second picture. There’s a trailer in the fourth, along with numerous cars. There are pots and personal effects in the second to last, and the place is trashed. What made everyone leave in such a hurry that they didn’t have time to grab what was dear to them, or even leave in their cars? Why would they leave them there, and not even consider driving away? What madness inflicted all of the residents to simply leave, without taking anything?
probably a radiation scare? looking at the cars it very well could have been an evacuation during one of the wars.
Okay, so I looked up one of the papers on the table, “The Star Extra”. This took me to a site implying that it is/was a local paper in South Dakota. I then googled “South Dakota abandoned towns” and looked for something with a water tower and lots of cars. Took about 10 minutes, but I may have found it:
Apparently, it was just a case of poor farm land, little water and few young people wanting to stick around. In 1980, there were 16 people living there, but it seems like the older folks just passed away and didn’t have anyone who wanted to deal with clearing out their homes, so everything was just…left there.
why the fuck would you stay there overnight though
Yeah, seriously I would be so uncomfortable sleeping in an abandoned house, like what if that bed had bugs in it or some serial killer came to kill you in the middle of the night? I mean, that’s the kind of shit you see in horror movies