I don’t feel happy. I oddly enough have made a list for the stuff to see if the good things balance out the bad. In all honestly the bad things outweigh the bad. Like having to wake up early in the morning. Looking like shit. forgetting stuff which leads to having to go up and down the stairs several times before I had everything I needed to take pictures and upload them in class. Waking up early to take pictures and somehow not even ending up taking them at all. On the other hand I hung out with Nichole which was cool. Oh and the guy at starbucks named Ben got me a free carmel apple spice. He’s really nice
School in general is a pain. I don’t feel like I am doing well. I dont feel inspired and I don’t feel like i can compete with other people in my classes anymore. I did durring my summer classes but now i just feel like a lame-o. Before I felt like somewhere in the sea of people [vacaville] that i was ment for something bigger and better. Now that I am actually out here living it. I dont feel like I belong. I dont know if its because i havent had enough time to adapt. But its just how I feel. I dont know my other mid term grades, but for my color class I have a “b-” which isn’t something i particularly want. I failed hard core on my project in that class today because i took a picture of another person’s artwork. I get it. Its not really a good thing, I was stuck and I thought I found it. I guess I didn’t. my critique of my visualization class is the same too. I was totally molester by the fact that it was already art before taking it, I suppose I’m just not feeling inspired anymore.
Some of the people I know are complete idiots sometimes. separately they are okay but put together they are just a handful. Except for one of them, I cant stand one of them. Just the things they do and I don’t even want to know what goes on in their brain. Stupid. On the other hand two of my favorite guy friends came to visit me.
Ryan can be a total jerk. I texted him to tell him I would call and he decides to leave his phone in his pants and change into pjs. I text him, no reply. Later on he IM’s me to say hi and totally disregard the fact that i had a bad day and Tried to contact him. I tell him. What if its an emergency. He doesn’t care because as far as he knows, I wouldn’t contact him in a time of emergency. Thanks for giving a shit. Trying to explain that I had a shit day and he just doesn’t seem to give a shit. He doesn’t ask about what it is so I told him i would just drink, take a bath, and just sleep. I ended doing these things with tears in my eyes. He’s just the most insensitive ass sometimes.I wonder if he would give a shit if i just stopped talking to him. Probably not. He think’s I’m too clingy for the relationship. Let me recap. 1 year and a few months. Granted its long distance, but at this point in the relationship it would be nice to get text messages back and a call every once in a while. Now I’m lucky to just get a message out of him. Our relationship has gone to shits and I just don;t know what to do.
Bored, in class right now. If you know me well than you know that I don’t really like the technical part of photography. It totally trips me out and its a little bit difficult. Also a lot confusing. All i know how to do is edit pictures in lightroom. All this preference changes is complicating the little edits that i do on my work. Part of me thinks its putting the damper on the technical stuff.
oh my must be so much to do. its lame having only two classes though.. dont you have to do non photography classes later on though like in the course book? or can you do all photog and then unrelated ones later when you want? And yea thats true for strangers. sucks everyone around here is just gone for college though. :( ill have to recruit my parents and grandma maybe.
you could always take more classes i suppose. and i think your suppose to take them but im not sure. i just know there are 8 classes you have to take. i heard you have to take math classes that totally trips me out. i hate math haha. you could just take creepy distance pictures?